Let's talk about Wandering Thoughts

It is strange how thoughts wander through time. Or jump from one subject to another, sometimes with decades in between.

Not a clue where the next memory came from but it caused a few thoughts travelling a long way back in time.
It started with recalling a comment on one of my Instagram photos. The dialect from Zeeland (a beautiful county near the sea) and being able to speak it. They pronounce the H instead of the G and I love to listen to it.
A very long time ago I worked as a international receptionist and telephonist for a company in the east of Holland and one of the sales managers was a true 'Zeeuw', including the beautiful accent. When he called in the mornings, he said 'Goedemorgen' (good morning) with the H: 'hoedemorhen' and then said 'guess who is speaking'. It was our joke.

This was in a time without Internet, without mobile phones. A time where the most advanced office machine was a huge telex covered with a sound absorbing lid against the 'ratatata' of the punched tape. And here go my thoughts......
A time sales managers were out on the road, driving miles and miles without being disturbed by calls, messages and e-mails. If needed we contacted them by calling their next client.
Otherwise they checked in during the morning and afternoon by a normal land line.
And you know what? Business went well, happy customers, happy company.
Of course everybody worked hard, there were deadlines, goals, achievements. But there was also time, time to interact, for 1 to 1 personal contact, a real face or real voice instead of a quick message.

Oh yes, I count the blessings of the internet, I do. My business is relying on it as a virtual secretary and writer. The Art of Communication.
Apart from that, we can now talk face to face with friends and relatives all over the world. We can see their tears, love and laughter. We share photos, moments of life. Receive immediate replies to our e-mails. Or can 'hide' if we do not have immediate replies at hand.
Still it often feels if we are wider apart than ever. Because we are more busy than ever. Busy coping with the huge amount of information thrown at us by all the Social Media including the TV.
Vivid images of terror and horror alternated by entertainment and nonsense. Dinner at the sofa bursting into tears and loosing your appetite watching killing of animals but shaking your head by human fights and asking for your desert. And when we go to bed, images are still swirling around in our brains and we can't get those grey cells to rest.
Never did mankind consume as many sleeping pills, supplements, anti depressions and pills against anxiety as in these modern days.

A few weeks before I moved house, my TV stopped working and I never bought another one. To be honest, it is a huge relief not to have one anymore. Admit, it is so easy to push the 'on' button of the remote control and before you know you are watching something you did not even plan to watch. Or you start zapping. If I want to see or hear news, I look for it on the internet but I watch what I want to see or know. And I enjoy my evenings with a book or music I love, or a good conversation. Or nothing at all, allowing my brains time off.

Never before has 'sitting' being disease no.1. As well for adults as for kids, causing cardiovascular disorders, diabetes and overweight.
Never needed we so much control by our laws and government, the EU as in the modern times. And never have the crime rates been as high as nowadays.
Never before did parents (sometimes violently) disagree with teachers and tutors about the way their children are raised (!) at school. Responsibilities shift......

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography

The behaviour around this horrifying Corona Virus shocked  me. The Virus on it's own is terrifying enough and we must not underestimate it. We see people dying with the centre of death in Bergamo, Italy. But what do we do (well, not everybody of course), we start foraging, hoarding, leaving empty shelves in Supermarkets without even thinking about the people who come after you.
Hoarding WC paper..... no wonder so many jokes are going around the world...
Although connected to the whole world we became an 'I first' society. From Social to Anti Social.

I do not want to end in doom and gloom. We also see wonderful things happening. Support to those wonderful people who risk their own lives by helping others. Doctors and nurses who are also fathers and mothers, brother and sisters, partners. Volunteers, neighbours, friends.
I see in Italy a community feeling I only see in Holland during football. United in their grief, united in their solidarity.
It is not a 'far from my bed' show anymore. We are in the middle of it. In the middle of good things too!!!
May the world learn from this the basic things in life. We can never go back to 30-40 years ago but we can go back to what a human is, the basic needs, we do not need much to be happy.
We need each other and so many people have to move on without their loved ones due to the Virus.
We can live with far less luxury but we can not live without love and friendship.

Lots of love,

Helen XXX

Let's talk about Kissing

This morning I woke up from a strange dream.
I visited a lady well in her 70's who was, as I was informed on forehand, an obsessive cleaner.
She welcomed me heartily with a kiss on each cheek, then looked embarrassed and said, waving her hands: "I am so sorry, I forgot all about not touching and kissing due to the Corona Virus...."

I wasn't too worried because the whole house looked cleaner then clean and smelled like a bottle of exclusive and very expensive disinfectant.
But I think it shows that even in our sleep, we are or need to be aware of not touching other people in public or even our own faces. And the need of disinfectants.
I am definitely not the panicking type of human but I do not underestimate the danger of getting or even worse, spreading this COVID 19.

It made me also aware of how often we touch someone. For example shaking hands out of politeness, when you meet, thank, say hello or goodbye. The more tactiles amongst us, touch because they like to touch; an arm around someone shoulders, touching a hand, a tiny hug.
But we also hug to comfort a friend, or to show our appreciation. Or hugging the one we love, this can be a friend, relative, a lover. All of a sudden we realise how often we kiss, maybe not always aware of the importance of a kiss. And if we learn the importance of a touch or a kiss through the Virus, something good comes out of it.

Woken up by my dream, I pondered upon the variety of kisses.
Kissing the tiny little feet and hands of your precious baby. The knee of your child after it fell on it. The hand of a (grand)parent.
The kiss on the cheek, more famous in the Netherlands than anywhere else because the fashion here is 3 kisses, even with people you meet for the first time (not my fashion in this case).
A farewell kiss in all its meanings.

The first kiss with a boy- or girlfriend, one you will never forget. (Well, I haven't. It happened in a new built shed and the smell of creosote is still causing butterflies in my stomach :-))
The first kiss of your first lover. Short kisses and long deep endless kisses with as the cherry on top of the cake, the French Kiss. Written with a capital because it is the ultimate way of kissing.

The French Kiss is like reading the utmost romantic story ever and nibbling sweets (chocolates maybe?) in the meantime; the first chapters tickle your curiosity. It is a careful introduction to the protagonist, it's character and skills.
And when the Kiss continues, you become more intimate, you dive deeper into the story. It reads better and better, in fact you can not stop reading and exploring. You want to know the end but you want to postpone it as long as possible. You are not aware of your surroundings anymore, you left earth floating to heaven. Then the Kiss comes to an end, not a sudden end but slowly you let go, still tasting, still reading but the last chapter is almost there. You sigh, hesitating to leave the story, a story you want to read over and over again. Together with that large bag of sweets.

The French Kiss is an art and if you do not manage it you definitely need to grab the opportunity when it arises. Of course you need a skilled teacher!

Photo: Ike Roelfsema ©

Back on earth, back to the 'average' social kisses we are not allowed to give to people we meet. We need to keep the kisses indoors. COVID 19 is changing our social behaviour, all of a sudden we realise how normal an occasional hug or kiss was. And how precious a kiss is.

But do not fear, we are blessed with the internet and with emoticons. The most famous these days is the one with the mask. Though I noticed that the hugging and kissing emo's are gaining in popularity.

So much that nowadays we are kissing people we never met. Worldwide we feel connected, share worries, share jokes to keep up the good spirits. We are like trees standing storms.
COVID 19 keeps us apart in real life, but connects over the internet.

Bless the inventor of the emoticons. And bless the spirit of everyone trying to make the best of life in a period we need so many hugs and kisses. Keep sharing them, please.

Lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Helen XXX

PS Can someone explain to me why it is called the French Kiss??? ;-)