Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying. Show all posts

Thursday, 14 October 2021

Let's talk about 'Wadden Tears'

 Yes, they do exist, Wadden Tears.

Are they different from other tears? Not in substance; they are wet, fill ones eyes, roll down ones cheeks and taste salt when they reach the corners of ones mouth.
Though the emotions behind tears differ. They can be caused by loss and this on it's own is divided in many sub emotions: missing a loved one, home sickness, income....
Tears caused by physical pain. Falling from your bike, down the stairs, head ache, an operation...
Or caused by incapacity, frustration, anger. And of course, last but not least, by happiness!

Tears have a purpose. They give air to emotions, relief you from pressure.
Sometimes one cries without wanting it. And not everybody cries easily, like myself. I simply can not cry unless my heart aches tremendously but even then I can not cry when someone else is around.
The kind words: "Please cry, it helps." do not land in my system. Too many genes from my father's side. My grandmother went through many losses but was not known to cry. Friesian stubbornness?

Some people cry to manipulate; to put pressure on a wish of which they know can not or will not be granted. Or seeking compassion to feed their ego.To reach a selfish goal, to impress or to weaken the other person.
True sorrow reaches my heart but manipulating tears freeze me and I shut myself off for the manipulator.

But there are times that my eyes are filled with tears but I do not call it crying.
Since my move to this lovely fishing village near the Wadden Sea, I walked many many miles, regardless the weather. Those who know me, know I love the rain and mist and prefer cold(er) temperatures. Therefore you find me often outdoors, inhaling the fresh air, the smell of the magnificent and ever changing Wadden. Listening to the waves and the birds or just silence during low tide. The wind through my hair and the rain on my face,
Admiring the stunning clouds drifting by, wishing them to lift me up, to take me with them. To embrace me.

I am almost always on my own with my dogs, no other people around which causes a change in dimensions: I feel tiny and humble. A little figure in an immense world with it's own seasons.
Being there I can not change the tides, the weather, the moon or sun. Nor the directions the birds fly, nor birth or death of the animals that live in and around the sea.
The only thing I can and will do, is being there and undergo the beauty I am surrounded with.
And it is not until I taste salt that I know tears found their way to the corners of my smiling mouth, my heart overflowing with thankfulness.

There is something about the Wadden that brings forgotten emotions to the surface.
And it happens to other people as well.
Tot the man who lost his wife to Cancer, a few years ago. He stood there, tears dripping at the collar of his coat. But with a smile. He told me his story and said: "I often come here to be healed. The Wadden is a healing place, so full of compassion".

Or the lady dressed in thick winter clothes, almost invisible under a fluffy hat, who looked for items - preferable bones - she could use to underline her speeches. She was a 'mourn lady', a woman who talked on funerals, asked by the family of the diseased. 
But all of a sudden she bursted into tears, explaining she could not cope with the Corona restrictions anymore, not knowing where the world was heading to. 
When she finally calmed down, she said: "You know, that is another reason why I walk here. The Wadden opens up feelings I am not always aware of. It allows me to cry, it never judges".

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

The lady at the bench, her left arm folded over the back, her right hand resting in her lap holding the lease of her dog. We talked and talked. Then tears in her eyes and she swallowed bravely: "I come here often, Helen. To be away from daily life. As I just told you, at home we have a lot on our plate. But I have not told you my husband is diagnosed with quick deteriorating Parkinson. Walking near the Wadden Sea is comforting me. I feel loved and hugged. The Wadden give. Not just love but also energy to cope for the time until I return here again". We hugged.

The girl who sat on an elevation in the landscape. With a straight back, her hands folded in her lap.
She did not notice me, her eyes were fixed at the seascape in front of her.
She cried in silence. Her tears carried all her sorrows to the sea where they mingled with the waves until they were invisible. Then she smiled and walked away.

The restless man with the low self esteem who often sat near the sea or walked through the salt marshes because The Wadden accepted him the way he was; no judgment, no high expectations.
And he inhaled the love nature gave him. The wind dried his tears.

People, stories, all different, all their own emotions but all turning to the Wadden for the same reason: unconditional love without questioning.

This is true fortune my lovely readers and worth a few thankful tears.


Lots of love,

Helen, xxx





Saturday, 22 July 2017

Time....

Did you notice time flies?

Today it is 8 months ago that my dear husband passed away. Ever since, the concept 'time' changed completely. Sometimes it feels much longer than 8 months and sometimes it feels like yesterday with all the past months still ahead of me. At that very moment I feel the pain even more and with the knowledge of today, an uncertain future.

Don't take me wrong, I am not afraid to fight for my future. I am not afraid to be forced to look for an income, to find a job but sometimes it keeps me awake as, be honest, at 62 finding a job is not that easy.
But I have always been a fighter and that did not change. My glass has always been half full and that did not change either.
It is time, my dear readers, to list the good things that happened to me!

First of all against all odds, I published my first Dutch e-book (Observaties) in March. On the right side bar is listed where you can order it. I am happy to tell you e-book no. 2 is on its way.
It sells but only occasionally although the reviews of the readers are very positive! Still, I receive quite a few request to translate it to English and that is what I am working at (besides my novel). Stay tuned for more information!!

I created a Facebook page which is well visited, please take a look and follow me if you like : Helen Varras' Facebook Page
I also have a personal Facebook account, you are very welcome as my friend: Helen Varras

And there is my twitter account (the amount of followers keeps growing): Helen Varras on Twitter
Plus Instagram: Helen Varras on Instagram and Pinterest: Helen Varras on Pinterest
Last  but not least and very important, my LinkedIn account: Helen Varras LinkedIn where I listed being a (freelance)writer, author, editor, translator and blogger.

You are right now on my 'private' blog but as you will have noticed in the top bar, there is also a Dutch and an English Blog. The Dutch Blog is all about updates and short stories. The English Blog is an occasional update and more and more short stories and I love to tell you more about the English short stories.
I love Instagram, the beautiful photo's on there are a joy to watch. I also found some beautiful people on there with my private account. But what I also found are photographers of abandoned places. Search for #abandoned on Instagram and have a look yourself.

Three photographers however, touched not only my heart, but their photo's also inspired me to write stories. There is so much to view and without doubt, there are so many unknown and untold tales attached to each photo!
I asked them if I was allowed to use some of their photo's to write a pure fictional story to it. And to my great joy and thankfulness, they said yes. Of course at the bottom of each story is a 'word of thanks' and a link to either the Instagram account or their websites and please, visit them.
To my astonishment I receive far more feedback to my English stories than my Dutch. Yes, I understand very well that English is a worldwide language, hence my translation of my first e-book.
Isn't it beautiful to be able to grow worldwide? To me it is a blessing.
But there is also a message to you: if you like my stories, or you want stories to illustrate your drawings or photo's, please contact me and let us discuss the possibilities.
Or if you have written stories in English, Swedish and German and you want me to translate them to Dutch (or from Dutch to English) you are of course also very welcome!

Besides all this I am hoping for people to get to know Helen Varras a little better. I want people to know that writing is my passion. I love it!! Stories evolve in my head during the day (or even in my dreams) and I think of it as a huge miracle to put these thoughts into words and into stories; short stories or a book.
I reserve my mornings for daily routine duties in the house and the garden and the afternoons and if I can't stop writing, the evenings for writing. And of course I can not resist participating in writing contests.
To my great joy I was one of the winners of a contest! I sent two stories and both stories will be published in a book (read more about it here) And not only that, one story ended at the 2nd place!!
Wow, I was (and still are) over the moon!! This is so encouraging, a confirmation that I have chosen the right new direction in my life. Still a long way to go and lots and lots to learn but this is something I can only look forward to!

This was on the writing side. Personally I am surrounded by wonderful people, most are my own friends but I also inherited some beautiful friends from my late husband. Everyone of these 'mixed' friends really care, are not afraid to talk to 'a widow', they are people who openly talk about happiness and sadness. Who love, laugh and cry with me. Who listen and who hug. Who send me flowers or little present. But above all, who encourage me to write, write and write.
How can I fear a future when surrounded by so many honest people? I don't! I am blessed and are well aware of it.

Thank you beautiful people!!! Sending you lots of love.

Helen