Let's talk about 'Solitude'

 Solitude.

A beautiful word and like most English words it does not need an explanation.
It has it all, the feeling (soft and round) and the meaning, often used in one sentence with freedom.

Solitude also has quite a few synonyms: remoteness, isolation, seclusion, retirement, privacy, peace. Many of these are positive.
However in the Dutch language we only have a very few translations. Like loneliness. This might be the reason that Solitude is not always understood. Or valued.

To me Solitude is peace of mind and heart and I need that frequently. My private synonym is 'my mental isle' 
I think we all can relate to the feeling of being lived at times. There is so much social media, information thrown at us through many channels. Wanted or unwanted, free choice or not. It is there as soon as you log on to the internet or switch on the TV.
And for those with a job, like I, there is on top the info you need to do your job properly.

If you are an extrovert you might love all this, even thrive on it. But for an introvert like I, it can be too much at times. Particularly in private life. Someone or a situation relying on your thoughts and energy.
Social Media can fortunately be switched off, there are still on/off buttons on smartphones, computers and TV's.

About the latter, just before I moved house a few years ago, my TV broke. I told myself to look for a second hand as soon as I could afford it. But it turned out that I love being without a TV. No staring at a screen, no constant voices, light change, flashing movements. And most important of all: no zapping and ending up with something I did not plan to watch.
My life is so more peaceful. Of course I keep in touch with the outside world and of course I appreciate a good detective or film but now I have to choice to watch it when I am ready for it. And yes, I spend much more time on listening to silence than being a couch potato in front of a huge HD LED TV.
And believe me, I feel so much happier!

Back to Solitude. I work from home, at least 9 hours per day in front of the laptop, external screens and smartphones. Most hours are work and what is left is for evolving ideas, writing, bookkeeping, you name it.
And when I can finally push the 'off' button and the sound of the laptop is fading away, silence is like a valuable glass of water. I drink the silence, treasure it.
Like I treasure the walks with my dogs near the Wadden Sea where I can empty my head, being one with nature, kissed by the wind, the rain, the sun. Smelling the ever changing scents of water and mud.
Listening to the birds. Walking in the dark with no sounds and no colours, guided by the surface beneath my feet. And I switch off from daily life, enjoying my mental isle.

Sometimes I need more time on my isle than just the evenings and mornings.
It does happen occasionally but fortunately not too often, that someone who asked for an advice of opinion suddenly decides that all decisions they do not want to make themselves, should be made by me. Who wriggles him or herself into my daily life, pushing messages and unexpected calls. Who are using their problems as their sponge to absorb the energy of someone else, in this case I.

Do not understand me wrong, I help a friend in need, but friends are valuable and most of them I know already for a long time. We respect and understand each other. If we want to talk, we ask if there is time to do so because we know it will be a good conversation, with warmth and mutual love.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

When I feel drained by some one, I switch off. As well from that person or situation as from the sounds around me. From the internet, from social life.
I return to Solitude. Meaning: valuable silence, peace, alone. For me Solitude is a place where I want to be, where I find energy, where I smile, where I recharge my batteries.

Solitude is free and everywhere. Not only the Wadden Sea or any other beautiful place in nature.
It is also at home, enjoying a book, candle light, photography. Solitude is in your heart but you need to know where to find it.
In my case Solitude always knocks on my mental door, telling me it is time to join it. And Solitude never knocks too early or too late. And I never hesitate to open my door, I welcome it with open arms to walk hand in hand on my mental isle towards silence and peace.

My wish for you is your own and private Solitude.

Love,

Helen xxx