Let's talk about 'Solitude'

 Solitude.

A beautiful word and like most English words it does not need an explanation.
It has it all, the feeling (soft and round) and the meaning, often used in one sentence with freedom.

Solitude also has quite a few synonyms: remoteness, isolation, seclusion, retirement, privacy, peace. Many of these are positive.
However in the Dutch language we only have a very few translations. Like loneliness. This might be the reason that Solitude is not always understood. Or valued.

To me Solitude is peace of mind and heart and I need that frequently. My private synonym is 'my mental isle' 
I think we all can relate to the feeling of being lived at times. There is so much social media, information thrown at us through many channels. Wanted or unwanted, free choice or not. It is there as soon as you log on to the internet or switch on the TV.
And for those with a job, like I, there is on top the info you need to do your job properly.

If you are an extrovert you might love all this, even thrive on it. But for an introvert like I, it can be too much at times. Particularly in private life. Someone or a situation relying on your thoughts and energy.
Social Media can fortunately be switched off, there are still on/off buttons on smartphones, computers and TV's.

About the latter, just before I moved house a few years ago, my TV broke. I told myself to look for a second hand as soon as I could afford it. But it turned out that I love being without a TV. No staring at a screen, no constant voices, light change, flashing movements. And most important of all: no zapping and ending up with something I did not plan to watch.
My life is so more peaceful. Of course I keep in touch with the outside world and of course I appreciate a good detective or film but now I have to choice to watch it when I am ready for it. And yes, I spend much more time on listening to silence than being a couch potato in front of a huge HD LED TV.
And believe me, I feel so much happier!

Back to Solitude. I work from home, at least 9 hours per day in front of the laptop, external screens and smartphones. Most hours are work and what is left is for evolving ideas, writing, bookkeeping, you name it.
And when I can finally push the 'off' button and the sound of the laptop is fading away, silence is like a valuable glass of water. I drink the silence, treasure it.
Like I treasure the walks with my dogs near the Wadden Sea where I can empty my head, being one with nature, kissed by the wind, the rain, the sun. Smelling the ever changing scents of water and mud.
Listening to the birds. Walking in the dark with no sounds and no colours, guided by the surface beneath my feet. And I switch off from daily life, enjoying my mental isle.

Sometimes I need more time on my isle than just the evenings and mornings.
It does happen occasionally but fortunately not too often, that someone who asked for an advice of opinion suddenly decides that all decisions they do not want to make themselves, should be made by me. Who wriggles him or herself into my daily life, pushing messages and unexpected calls. Who are using their problems as their sponge to absorb the energy of someone else, in this case I.

Do not understand me wrong, I help a friend in need, but friends are valuable and most of them I know already for a long time. We respect and understand each other. If we want to talk, we ask if there is time to do so because we know it will be a good conversation, with warmth and mutual love.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

When I feel drained by some one, I switch off. As well from that person or situation as from the sounds around me. From the internet, from social life.
I return to Solitude. Meaning: valuable silence, peace, alone. For me Solitude is a place where I want to be, where I find energy, where I smile, where I recharge my batteries.

Solitude is free and everywhere. Not only the Wadden Sea or any other beautiful place in nature.
It is also at home, enjoying a book, candle light, photography. Solitude is in your heart but you need to know where to find it.
In my case Solitude always knocks on my mental door, telling me it is time to join it. And Solitude never knocks too early or too late. And I never hesitate to open my door, I welcome it with open arms to walk hand in hand on my mental isle towards silence and peace.

My wish for you is your own and private Solitude.

Love,

Helen xxx

Let's talk about 'Wadden Tears'

 Yes, they do exist, Wadden Tears.

Are they different from other tears? Not in substance; they are wet, fill ones eyes, roll down ones cheeks and taste salt when they reach the corners of ones mouth.
Though the emotions behind tears differ. They can be caused by loss and this on it's own is divided in many sub emotions: missing a loved one, home sickness, income....
Tears caused by physical pain. Falling from your bike, down the stairs, head ache, an operation...
Or caused by incapacity, frustration, anger. And of course, last but not least, by happiness!

Tears have a purpose. They give air to emotions, relief you from pressure.
Sometimes one cries without wanting it. And not everybody cries easily, like myself. I simply can not cry unless my heart aches tremendously but even then I can not cry when someone else is around.
The kind words: "Please cry, it helps." do not land in my system. Too many genes from my father's side. My grandmother went through many losses but was not known to cry. Friesian stubbornness?

Some people cry to manipulate; to put pressure on a wish of which they know can not or will not be granted. Or seeking compassion to feed their ego.To reach a selfish goal, to impress or to weaken the other person.
True sorrow reaches my heart but manipulating tears freeze me and I shut myself off for the manipulator.

But there are times that my eyes are filled with tears but I do not call it crying.
Since my move to this lovely fishing village near the Wadden Sea, I walked many many miles, regardless the weather. Those who know me, know I love the rain and mist and prefer cold(er) temperatures. Therefore you find me often outdoors, inhaling the fresh air, the smell of the magnificent and ever changing Wadden. Listening to the waves and the birds or just silence during low tide. The wind through my hair and the rain on my face,
Admiring the stunning clouds drifting by, wishing them to lift me up, to take me with them. To embrace me.

I am almost always on my own with my dogs, no other people around which causes a change in dimensions: I feel tiny and humble. A little figure in an immense world with it's own seasons.
Being there I can not change the tides, the weather, the moon or sun. Nor the directions the birds fly, nor birth or death of the animals that live in and around the sea.
The only thing I can and will do, is being there and undergo the beauty I am surrounded with.
And it is not until I taste salt that I know tears found their way to the corners of my smiling mouth, my heart overflowing with thankfulness.

There is something about the Wadden that brings forgotten emotions to the surface.
And it happens to other people as well.
Tot the man who lost his wife to Cancer, a few years ago. He stood there, tears dripping at the collar of his coat. But with a smile. He told me his story and said: "I often come here to be healed. The Wadden is a healing place, so full of compassion".

Or the lady dressed in thick winter clothes, almost invisible under a fluffy hat, who looked for items - preferable bones - she could use to underline her speeches. She was a 'mourn lady', a woman who talked on funerals, asked by the family of the diseased. 
But all of a sudden she bursted into tears, explaining she could not cope with the Corona restrictions anymore, not knowing where the world was heading to. 
When she finally calmed down, she said: "You know, that is another reason why I walk here. The Wadden opens up feelings I am not always aware of. It allows me to cry, it never judges".

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

The lady at the bench, her left arm folded over the back, her right hand resting in her lap holding the lease of her dog. We talked and talked. Then tears in her eyes and she swallowed bravely: "I come here often, Helen. To be away from daily life. As I just told you, at home we have a lot on our plate. But I have not told you my husband is diagnosed with quick deteriorating Parkinson. Walking near the Wadden Sea is comforting me. I feel loved and hugged. The Wadden give. Not just love but also energy to cope for the time until I return here again". We hugged.

The girl who sat on an elevation in the landscape. With a straight back, her hands folded in her lap.
She did not notice me, her eyes were fixed at the seascape in front of her.
She cried in silence. Her tears carried all her sorrows to the sea where they mingled with the waves until they were invisible. Then she smiled and walked away.

The restless man with the low self esteem who often sat near the sea or walked through the salt marshes because The Wadden accepted him the way he was; no judgment, no high expectations.
And he inhaled the love nature gave him. The wind dried his tears.

People, stories, all different, all their own emotions but all turning to the Wadden for the same reason: unconditional love without questioning.

This is true fortune my lovely readers and worth a few thankful tears.


Lots of love,

Helen, xxx