Let's talk about Toothpaste

 Maybe not a subject that springs to mind pondering about life but...

Being a woman I always squeeze my toothpaste down the tube from top to bottom. It is a man's 'privilege' to squeeze in the middle, isn't it.
And I keep squeezing until the last little bit, I am thrifty. I prefer to have at least one tube in stock but sometimes forget to buy it. So, what happens next is that the amount of paste comes to a point of which I think I am going to run out of it. And I do not live close to a shop.

But here is the amazing thing that when I think I am going to be short of paste, the tube seems to be endless and I always survive until the my next shopping weekend. Not that I count on this every time though. I like to be prepared, I prefer a fresh breath.

Prepared.... I learned throughout my life that being prepared for tomorrow, next week, next month is impossible. Today can be totally different from yesterday or tomorrow. Living life by the day is much more my way (with my little home as my resting point). A 'skill' taught by my parents who regularly moved house because my father found an other job when the current one bored him, he needed challenges.
His career ended at the age of 43 when he got ill but in a way surviving was also a challenge to him.
My mother, a woman with a heart big enough for everyone who needed her unconditional love, managed to create a warm and welcoming home in every house we lived in. One of her favourite quotes was: 'Remember you always take yourself with you. If you can create a cosy home in one house, you can also create it in another house'. And she was so right.

Taking yourself with you everywhere you go needs stability in a sense of being comfortable with yourself by knowing you are the base of your life. Your base needs to be solid, you need to be able to trust yourself and move on from there. Take your base to where ever you go.
Of course life is throwing good and bad at you, I simply do not believe there are people who sail through life without high waters, storms or a good thunder now and then.
Just happiness does not exist. And in my humble opinion... how do you recognize simple happiness if you don't know grief? How do you appreciate a beautiful valley if you don't know the hills?
Or a smooth sea without the high waves?

To be honest, a predictable life would bore me to death. When I look back I can not remember one boring day in my life. Lazy days, yes. But even then I adored this laziness. Absorbed it, drank it in, squeezed every lazy minute out of it. And I still do, I still squeeze every little bit out of my lazy days.

Sometimes my head is full, my brains overloaded. Not just a matter of age, I have had this all my life. When this happens I know it is time to switch off, to withdraw to my little Mental Isle.

Because I work from home, my isle is only available in the weekends but if it is there, I make the most of it by switching off my phone and the internet.
My Mental Isles are a mix of doing completely nothing and enjoying the stillness, or walking the dogs, or reading, photography, watching a film.... just being me. Please do not say I am selfish which I am not. No, in this way I maintain my base. Each base needs maintenance to bear the structure. My structure is always in good use, busy at times. And because life is not predictable, the base needs to be ready for tomorrow.

Would I be an easy person to live with? Probably not, I need my freedom.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

I am not a moody person, nor angry. Often called 'down to earth but with a good sense of humour' is more who I am. When things go wrong in life, I adapt to the challenge to use the changes to find other paths to my future. These paths always have side paths and sometimes you have to walk and walk to find new destinations but they are there! Never give up!

Be like a toothpaste tube. When you face the moment of running out, keep squeezing, you will be surprised how much there is still left. In the meantime 'buy' a new tube, buy a different taste. Be ready for a fresh breath tomorrow, next week, next month. Life is still full of surprises.

My 'tube' is running out for 2020 and I am looking forward to my holiday in my own home. Squeezing the last bits, buying a new taste for 2021. I am ready for new challenges.

Wishing you all a comfortable Christmas, squeeze the COVID restrictions, don't leave left overs in your old tube. I am looking forward to see you next year.

Lots of love,

Helen XXX

Let's talk about the darker days before Christmas

A village near the sea, grey and rainy days, an old renovated fishing cottage, ancestral furniture, dogs, candles. All topped with a fluffy mist....
This is my well being in the darker days before Christmas.

Of course I love light and sunshine, it makes the world so much brighter and we need it, but these darker days...... Every year again I am looking forward to them. I can't wait to lit my candles. To embrace the soft glowing light creating comfortable shadows and giving a warm glow to my furniture, maintained and loved by many generations before me. To listen to Bach, to read a book. To drink hot chocolate or Winter tea.

No, I do not live with ghosts from the pasts. Maybe it has to do with not always feeling comfortable in this modern world although I benefit from technology and improved health care too!
Often I crave for a more quiet world, less distractions, more simple. With more simple I mean more quiet, alone with your thoughts, less white noise. There is so much noise: traffic, plains, machines, radios.....  Living in a quiet village near the sea, is a blessing.

My former house, a renovated small farmhouse, was far more isolated although situated near a drive trough country road. At the back and the front no neighbours, just country views. I loved the house, it was comfortable and cosy. Still... in my new house I feel even more comfortable. More at home.
Last week I talked to my lovely neighbour about our mutual feelings for this village and the beautiful Wadden Sea. She and her husband moved here 35 years ago, she originates from Germany.
Even now she can get emotional talking about how wonderful it is to live here, which caused me 'wet eyes' when I agreed.

One of my ancestors owned a plot of land in a nearby fishing village. With my huge amount of Scandinavian DNA (the Vikings did not only ravaged the Friesian coast but also 'mingled' with members of the local population) it is not surprising that I feel so rooted here.
The current exhibition 'We Vikings' in the Friesian Musem in Leeuwarden is a 'must see' and on top of my list.

My DNA is used to long dark winters full of fires and stories to pass the time. I can imagine myself listening in front of a fire. My fantasy at work about elves, trolls, giant birds...... I love standing in the middle of nature, inhaling the cold air, watching the many stars we still see here, my feet guided by the night when walking the wet lands.
Genetic memories and reality.

Soon the Christmas tree will be up again. I respect our Dutch Sinterklaas but the very first Saturday after this wonderful festivity for children, the tree goes up. And already I am planning which changes I have to make to my sitting room to give it a prominent place. It will stay there for at least 4 weeks, spreading it's soft light. Adding to my home feeling.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

I am also looking forward to the Christmas illumination of the village. There are so many old and beautiful cottages here. Often built close to the next one to shelter each other for the fierce cold wind from sea.
To hear the church bells in the 800 year old tower, wishing it could speak. Wishing it tells stories about all those Christmases it witnessed. In mostly hard times where people struggled to survive, but also happy times of new marriages, new born children.

The darker days before Christmas: simplicity and soft glows.....

Love,

Helen