Let's talk about Toothpaste

 Maybe not a subject that springs to mind pondering about life but...

Being a woman I always squeeze my toothpaste down the tube from top to bottom. It is a man's 'privilege' to squeeze in the middle, isn't it.
And I keep squeezing until the last little bit, I am thrifty. I prefer to have at least one tube in stock but sometimes forget to buy it. So, what happens next is that the amount of paste comes to a point of which I think I am going to run out of it. And I do not live close to a shop.

But here is the amazing thing that when I think I am going to be short of paste, the tube seems to be endless and I always survive until the my next shopping weekend. Not that I count on this every time though. I like to be prepared, I prefer a fresh breath.

Prepared.... I learned throughout my life that being prepared for tomorrow, next week, next month is impossible. Today can be totally different from yesterday or tomorrow. Living life by the day is much more my way (with my little home as my resting point). A 'skill' taught by my parents who regularly moved house because my father found an other job when the current one bored him, he needed challenges.
His career ended at the age of 43 when he got ill but in a way surviving was also a challenge to him.
My mother, a woman with a heart big enough for everyone who needed her unconditional love, managed to create a warm and welcoming home in every house we lived in. One of her favourite quotes was: 'Remember you always take yourself with you. If you can create a cosy home in one house, you can also create it in another house'. And she was so right.

Taking yourself with you everywhere you go needs stability in a sense of being comfortable with yourself by knowing you are the base of your life. Your base needs to be solid, you need to be able to trust yourself and move on from there. Take your base to where ever you go.
Of course life is throwing good and bad at you, I simply do not believe there are people who sail through life without high waters, storms or a good thunder now and then.
Just happiness does not exist. And in my humble opinion... how do you recognize simple happiness if you don't know grief? How do you appreciate a beautiful valley if you don't know the hills?
Or a smooth sea without the high waves?

To be honest, a predictable life would bore me to death. When I look back I can not remember one boring day in my life. Lazy days, yes. But even then I adored this laziness. Absorbed it, drank it in, squeezed every lazy minute out of it. And I still do, I still squeeze every little bit out of my lazy days.

Sometimes my head is full, my brains overloaded. Not just a matter of age, I have had this all my life. When this happens I know it is time to switch off, to withdraw to my little Mental Isle.

Because I work from home, my isle is only available in the weekends but if it is there, I make the most of it by switching off my phone and the internet.
My Mental Isles are a mix of doing completely nothing and enjoying the stillness, or walking the dogs, or reading, photography, watching a film.... just being me. Please do not say I am selfish which I am not. No, in this way I maintain my base. Each base needs maintenance to bear the structure. My structure is always in good use, busy at times. And because life is not predictable, the base needs to be ready for tomorrow.

Would I be an easy person to live with? Probably not, I need my freedom.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

I am not a moody person, nor angry. Often called 'down to earth but with a good sense of humour' is more who I am. When things go wrong in life, I adapt to the challenge to use the changes to find other paths to my future. These paths always have side paths and sometimes you have to walk and walk to find new destinations but they are there! Never give up!

Be like a toothpaste tube. When you face the moment of running out, keep squeezing, you will be surprised how much there is still left. In the meantime 'buy' a new tube, buy a different taste. Be ready for a fresh breath tomorrow, next week, next month. Life is still full of surprises.

My 'tube' is running out for 2020 and I am looking forward to my holiday in my own home. Squeezing the last bits, buying a new taste for 2021. I am ready for new challenges.

Wishing you all a comfortable Christmas, squeeze the COVID restrictions, don't leave left overs in your old tube. I am looking forward to see you next year.

Lots of love,

Helen XXX

Let's talk about Intimacy

'Intimacy, a situation in which you have a sexual relationship with someone' (Cambridge dictionary)
But it may also be a non-sexual relationship involving family, friends, or acquaintances (Wikipedia)
Still, the latter was not the meaning of a recent conversation which triggered me to write this post.

In September 2017 I wrote about 'Men and My Checklist (post with a wink)'  based on the well meant advise from people to look for a new relationship,
By now the majority of people accepted that I prefer to live on my own but a very few still think that my life would be so much better if I had a partner again, someone to share my life with, to cuddle up with on the sofa or in bed.
To go out with, to talk to, to kiss and hug and all other things that come with intimacy in a relationship / marriage.
The big question of these kind and gentle hearted souls is: "Don't you miss intimacy?" Meaning a sexual relationship.

Do I need to think long and deep before I answer? No! Because, what is intimacy to me? How do I feel, experience and treat it?
Intimacy to me is that deep borderless connection I have with the one I love and trust. And for him (I am an incurable heterosexual) this will feel the same. That special level of interacting, translated in a touch, kiss, smile, laugh, tear, making love (with or without exciting sex) or even an argument to keep things lively.
And what is the meaning of a long term sexual relationship without this intimacy? For me any form of a sexual relationship needs some intimacy. I am not the 'one night stand with a stranger' woman, I need more, a 'foreplay' of getting to know someone. His character, smell, likes and dislikes. And a wicked sense of humour. And let's not forget his build: tall, broad shoulders.... (see my wish list ;-))

Seriously, I might be very old fashioned or to some even boring but I still have my taste and values.
So, do I miss intimacy..... no. For the very simple reason that there isn't someone I love like I described before. No one to share this intimacy with. In my opinion I will only miss it when it is connected to the person I love to be intimate with and that person is simply not there. At least, I don't know him.

Freedom is not only living in a free country. Freedom is the precious condition of being who you are. Not pretending, just the basic you who creates from this base a free happy life. Free in your head and heart. If you live this life with the one you love so deeply, this is the most wonderful thing there is for you. Though for me and for many others, freedom also means living on your own, no strings.
Like someone once mentioned "Yes, I am a free spirit. Maybe too free but I want to be able to change".
I say: "Yes, I am a free spirit. Maybe too free but I do not want to change again".

Dear readers, my life changed too often. I am now at a point in life and at a place in this world that I feel free and happy. I do not want to change again. I want to stay put with myself.
Am I an egocentric person to say I do not want to share anymore?

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography

I like to believe I am not. And my close friends know I am not; intimacy as in friendship is important to me, it is rare and valuable. As it will be to many of you.



To those lovely people who still can't believe I am happy on my own, living  a fulfilling life, enjoying living with my animals in my little cottage so close to the beautiful sea, making long walks with my camera, absorbing solitude and nature, listening to the wind, tasting the rain, feeling the sun, spending time with dear friends, enjoying a good meal in the local Pub (the 'single' list is endless...): please accept this is my free will. I know you only wish me well and your intentions come straight from you heart but stop trying convincing me....  After all my credo is 'Fortis et Liber' (Free ánd Strong).

Change of subject....... ;-)

Lots of love,

Helen xx

Let's talk about the 'Man Flu'

This time of year, Winter, is known for the Flu flying around infecting old and young, male and female.
Half my village was ill due to a Flu to which an anti Flu injection was of no help: this typical Flu was not included....

I am very grateful that up till now and although I hugged a Flu victim, I haven't had any Flu symptoms at all. To be honest, I can not even remember when I had the Flu or when I caught a cold.
So no high temperatures, running noses, red eyes, sneezing and coughing, feeling extremely miserable for me.

For the healthy ones amongst us a Flu might not sound very serious and of course only temporary, but it can effect daily life tremendously. Feeling really ill and still being expected to do your daily (household) choruses and / or your job, is very disturbing.
And when you are a woman, you do not want to give in because you can not be missed (where ever you are needed). Who is preparing breakfast? Evening meals? Bringing the kids to school? Walking the dog? Doing the laundry? Etcetera, etcetera.

Not your male partner, he has this very busy and most important job with meetings and what ever more. Until.......
Yes, until he catches the 'Man Flu'. Far more worse than we females can imagine. The worst thing that can happen is catching it the same time. Blessed the ones with no other obligations than staying in bed with bottles of water to prevent dehydration and maybe a litre or so orange juice. And not to forget Paracetamol, boxes of tissues and paper bins to dispose them.

Where the majority of females suffer in silence, men suffer loudly. In our opinion they turn into feeble and moaning boys, exaggerating the severity of the symptoms.
The best thing you can do is making a bed on the sofa or move to the guest bedroom. What ever you do, the mourning and puffing will be heard throughout the house. You sigh and decide it is better to get up and care for him although you feel too sick to do so. But you are the caring female with the responsibility to look after the one you love. So up and running you are, suffering in silence but too proud to admit you would rather stay in bed.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography ©

That Man Flu......
Ladies let me tell you, it exists! There truly is a Man Flu! Men do suffer more than women!
Dr Kyle Sue, a clinical assistant professor at Memorial University of Newfoundland, analysed relevant research and found evidence that adult men have a higher risk of hospital admission and higher rates of influenza-associated deaths compared with women, regardless of underlying disease.
Dr Sue also found that men are more susceptible to complications and higher mortality from many acute respiratory diseases, while some evidence supported men suffering more from viral respiratory illness than women because they have a less robust immune system.

Research has also found that pre-menopausal women are better at fighting off the common cold, thanks to a study of male and female cells.

Dr Sue’s study suggests testosterone may be to blame for suppressing men’s immune systems, while a female sex hormone boosts women’s. (Source Independent UK)

Ah, those testosterones, not equally present in all men. One has more than the other. That makes me think that the ones with too much testosterone, the male male, the ones who overrate their own attractiveness towards the other sexes, suffer more from the Flu than the ones who act less irresistible whilst they might still be very good looking! Or?
Here is a little home study to do for you: is your partner often a victim of the Flu? Often ill? Tell me, does he have an overdose of testosterone?
Or is he never ill due to a lack of testosterone? Is he then boring, not good looking, a low self-esteem?

When you give the research of Dr. Sue a proper thought, your relationship might become more interesting, challenging even.....
A different look on men, your own man....
Curious to your feedback.

Last but not least, today a real man convinced me he is, regarding the Male Flu, not that type of man.
Here is hope!!!
No, I am not going to reveal to you where he lives.....  I want to avoid against all costs that you ladies are blocking the streets near his apartment by queuing up at his front door.

Cheers!!

Helen

Let's talk about Reflections

Although I prefer promoting to look for the time ahead of one, to explore the future possibilities - no matter if they are large or small - I can not, like most people, avoid looking back in this time of the year.

It is December 30 - 2019 and tomorrow night we say goodbye to a year gone by and hello to the blanc canvas of 2020.
Is it just me or do you as well remember the Millennium celebrations like yesterday?
Time flies! That was my first New Year celebration in Friesland after my adventures in Sweden.
And now, 20 years later, the first celebration in my new home in Northern Friesland, even closer to my roots. I am slowly but surely moving towards Scandinavia!

Back to 2019, what a year this was, not just for me but for everyone. Each family, each home collected memories. Good ones, bad ones and in between. A year of new born life and a year of death - so close related. Of illnesses and recoveries. Of separations and new lives together. Of laughter and tears. Of storms and calm seas.
And whatever happened, as long a we are able to discover that it are the little things in life that teach us values, the stones we use to build our base, we know we can conquer another year. Even better, we are allowed to look forward to another year.

For me too, reflection time.
I knew when celebrating the transition from 2018 to 2019 that this was the last time in my old home. And as usual, I was on my own with a book, my favourite classical music and my animals.
I watched the fireworks above the nearby small city and the surrounding villages, particularly above the Wadden Sea, a few kilometres away, praying when ever I was going to sell my house, I could find a cottage close to the sea.
The tiny village I got to know during my Wadden photo shoots. Where I sat on a frozen bench covered by the golden orange sunset sky you only see in Winter time, with only the sound of the birds and the smell of a log fire. The total silence was so comfortable. I remember so well that this was the moment I fell in love with that village.

My only option was renting a house and I knew this was not going to be easy as what ever would be available, would not be available for long. During the photo shoots and my visits to the cosy local Pub, I talked about selling my house and wanting to live in this small fishing village.
My prayers were heard, my patience (not always easy!!) was rewarded. But it was only until 3 weeks before the new owners moved into my old house, that a cottage was available.....

In the meantime I had to keep my little business going, sorting out my belongings, getting ready for another move and hopefully the last one.
This all was only possible with the help of very dear friends who helped me out where ever they could. My gratefulness to them is beyond words, I will never forget what they did for me. And not only their helping hands and muscles but above all their mental support.
Their reward is my happiness; I am so incredible happy where I live now! I feel so much at home.
Not just because I have ancestral roots here but also because the typical Scandinavian characteristics are still so visible amongst the people here. The Vikings did a wonderful job forwarding their fierce genes when they put their stamp on the Friesian coast!

My life changed intense over the past years. Moments that life came to a hold with the clock ticking forwards. Moments that I created a new way of living, starting all over again, like I did 20 years ago.
I have learned throughout my life to look forward, to create, to live. Things my parents taught me, knowing by experience that you need to be prepared for unknown future events.
A strong character is given by birth and developed by believing in the impossible, encouraged by the right people around you. I have been so fortunate to have it all. My credo is well chosen: Fortis et Liber (Strong and Free).

The end of 2019, celebrating in my new home. Not only new for me but also for my animals. With even a new addition to the flock: Willow. An 11 years old very sweet and beautiful 'half' Russian Bleu cat. Unfortunately her owner died December 13 and Willow (her new name which sounds similar to the old one) desperately needed a new home. And she did not cross my path without a reason. Dog Bas and I missed our old cat Kater. For Bas a little furry friend, for Frits a friend to snuggle up with in his basket  and for me the comfort of a purring cat at my lap. And Willow turned out to be the perfect cat in our flock. Yes, she has a character of her own, but she is extremely intelligent, easy going and ever so sweet! She fits in like she has always lived with us. If she reaches the same age as Kater, we have 8 years of mutual friendship to enjoy.

Isn't it wonderful to celebrate new 'things'? A new way of living, feeling, seeing? That every heartbeat is for the future? Every love feeling is free of charge? Every sunrise and sunset available in stunning colours, just at your

Photo: Ike Roelfsema ©

doorstep? Every smile, young and old, is rewarded with a smile? Every unexpected hug a little present?
Meeting new people adding stories to your life? Learning from other people? This happens in real life and in virtual life. Meeting people is possible all over the world. Exchanging stories and likes, discovering new ways of communicating and sharing.

My wish for you my lovely readers, is a healthy as possible 2020, a New Year with exiting possibilities, with love and friendship but above all the power and vision to look for it and to accept it. And when you are open to it and found it, treasure it; the largest gift of it all!

Lots of love,

Helen

Let's talk about Rain

Because it is more common these days than sunshine. And just now you are thinking I am sooooooo fed up with rain, I write about it.
Not to make things worse though! Maybe I can raise some love for it with you.

Rain is not just water. It is liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapour and then become heavy enough to fall under gravity. Rain is a major component of the water cycle and is responsible for depositing most of the fresh water on the Earth (source Wikipedia)
If you are into recycling, well, here is the best example in the world.

Without rain, no life. The bottle of water you tow around walking, sporting or because you are told you  need to drink at least 2 litres per day, is filled with life.
The tea, coffee you drink is made with water. The food you eat needs water to grow. Your flourishing garden, refreshing shower, your bath, swimming in the sea, romantic outings near the lake, fountains, reflections in rain puddles, even your clean cloths or shiny car, it all has to do with water and without rain no water.
A little gratefulness when it is raining is not out of place.

The average human being loves an equal amount of sunshine and rain. So do the farmers.
Many people travel hundreds if not thousands of miles to escape the rain, craving for warmer areas where they can zip their wine near.... yes... the sea.
Unfortunately water is not equally spread around the world. Where we had so much rain the past weeks, other counties suffer from extreme droughts. And no, I am not going to discuss the climate change.

Fortunately there are also people who love rain. They are called 'Pluviophyles', lovers of rain. A pluviophyle is someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.
And I know where I am talking about. Rain gives me a feeling of well being, cosiness and happiness.
This might sound strange to those who dislike rain but let me try to explain.
When it is raining, the sky is usually very dark which creates in my home a 'nestling' atmosphere. Candlelight, a book, or staring out of the windows, fascinated by the ever chancing pattern of running drops on the glass, giving the world at the other side, a totally different look.
The sound of the rain is easing my busy mind, it 'forces' it to a steady thinking rhythm. 

A rainy day can be a boring grey but can also be dramatic, with fierce clouds in 1000 shades of grey and black. Clouds that burst from the sea, that hang around overlooking the world below or floating past blown by the wind. A never boring scenery!

Rain smells, a wonderful lovely smell which fills the air before the rain arrives. And after the rain the smell is even better; a lush green smell of life. Colours are brighter, the grass greener, the soil darker, the sea more blue or silver.
Raindrops on your hair and face. Raindrops near the sea are a bit salty, try and taste. Look at the sky, feel the drops on your eyes, lick them from your lips. And smile! This is life!
Spread your arms and catch the rain, hold it in the palm of your hand and be aware you hold life.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography

Yesterday I stood near the sea and let the rain and strong wind play with me, with my thoughts and feelings. I gave over to the forces of nature and felt so extremely alive!!
I watched the clouds by night, listened to the sound of the tide swallowing the rain, taking advantage of it. Due to the strong wind, the tide rushed in faster then usual. A fascinating site.
Dark clouds guided the tide ashore, covered my little space in this enormous big world in a darkness as beautiful as it could be. The sun was not to be seen other then colouring the rims of the clouds in a subtle orange pink, reflected in the shiny mud where the tide had not taken over yet.
A few spares moments and then the first waves washed ashore. 

And I watched, absorbed....... rain, life, passion, love.....

Helen

Let's talk about Value

Value, a small word of great importance.
It is attached to, in my humble opinion, everything in life. Nature, people, emotions, you name it.
Ah yes, value of money and objects but I do not want to go there. Apart from the money you need for a basic life, money can be a burden, too much and you lose the feeling for real values....
Objects? Nice, enjoy them but enjoy above all the simple side of them, not what they are worth in money.

Maybe I am the incurable optimist but even when life is less attractive, I always find value in little things. Of course, I am blessed with a good health but also know the down side of e.g. fighting Cancer. Even that added more value to my life.
And value in friendships, relationships. Only a very, very few friendships remain which is good, you can not hold on to or depend on others all your life. Or being dependent of what others think of you. Fifty different people have fifty different opinions of you. Let go, be you.  After all you are the base of your own life and from this base you develop and become stronger.
You need to be able to rely on your own base, it lasts until you very last day, broaden it and secure it.... with values.

November is a month where value speaks more often to me. It is a month in which I lost people - who played an important role in my life - through death. Each in their own way; with much love or far less love.
I miss my mother who passed away 11 years ago this month. Maybe it has to do with age but the more people mention I look like her, the more I miss her and getting older I also see the similarities in look more and more. And I am proud of it!

When life is hectic or when my brains are too occupied, I wonder which advice my mother would have given and realize how valuable it is to have had a mother like her. No, she was not a saint, she was a real human being, strict with a touch of stubbornness. But above all loving, sincere and honest.
She taught me the value of all living creatures, the seasons, the basic things and love. That ever so complicated but also simple love of opening your heart to receive and return love. The value of vulnerability of love.
Which on its own, allows you to know the value of grief. You can not grief when you do not know love and the other way round. Yes, love can hurt, so can grief. But grief can heal, so can love.

Everyone inherits good and bad things from both parents, grandparents and so on. Add life experience on top of that and you become that one and only unique you. Value the freedom of being unique and use it to become rich. No, not 'rich as in money' but rich as in being able to make your own choices. To discard what does not make you happy and let grow what does make you happy.
Learn the value of positive energy and stop spending energy on things you can not change or that do not make you happy.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography ©

Learn the value of opening your eyes to see beyond what is immediately in front of you. The value of learning, taking on new things, challenging yourself which level you can reach. The value of expanding your world with new things, this can even be in a small radius around you.
Learn the value of colours, even when it is black and white because there are so many gradations in between!
Or the value of music, even when you can not hear it. Though you can feel it, through your fingers, in your body, your heart. Music is not only the sound of instruments, it can be a voice, a word, the wind, the sun.

Last but not least, learn the value of making mistakes. Without you don't grow.
If a decision you made turned out to be a mistake, do not feel sorry, it happens, it is part of life. Avoid doing it twice but do not feel shame. After all you are very human, how valuable is that!


Love,

Helen

Let' talk about an introvert's perspective on landscape photography

Yes, a long title of today's blog but I can not think of an other one.

Gurushots "The World's Greatest Photo Game", I am one of the participants, on and off.
I noticed that taking part for a longer period, many of the challenges are more or less the same and therefore more or less boring. Staying away for several months can refresh my view on the challenges.

Returning after a while helps to notice the trends in photography. Trends are good, they keep it alive and challenging. It moves the boundaries within photography, the way we look at people, objects and landscapes. Even the most conservative photographer may adopt a new view, although......

Introversion "a personality trait characterized by a focus on internal feelings rather than on external sources of stimulation"
Do not misunderstand an introvert, we are not shy and or timid. We might look like hermits, but we are not. We are well aware of the world around us, but we rather observe it than jumping up and down or running around in all it's liveliness, afraid missing something of which we are not aware yet, surrounded by many people.
If we take a photo, we carefully observe the spot and click with our feelings and techniques.
We love often unobserved details but we also love the wide views.
Above all, we love wandering around natures beauty on our own, regaining our energy, enjoying the solitude. Or with a like minded close friend.
I know for instance, that showing a group of photographers my favourite spots, does not add to the quality of my photos. None of my photos show my feelings of what I love, I was too distracted. On the other hand, being with a close friend who understands and uses the beauty of the surrounding, my photos are of a much better quality.

Well, what has Gurushots to do with Introversion.
One of the most persistent trends in landscape photography is people standing in the middle of the lens view, raising their arms and therefore, in my humble opinion, spoiling the view of an otherwise beautiful photo of an even more beautiful landscape.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography

Please do not get me wrong, I do not mind people in landscape photos but only when it adds something like a perspective: a tiny person in a large world. An indication of the dimensions. A mountaineer surrounded by majestic mountains. You know what I mean.
But not dominating the photo. And why with raised arms? Is it to express their appreciation for Mother Nature? For the beauty I can't see because they block my view? Or is it "I made it, I conquered nature, I won!"

These photos are more and more seen on photo sites and oh boy, do I dislike it. To me it is the sound of a radio with music I do not want to hear, a ghetto blaster. An irritating noise. A stain I want to wipe off.
I want to shout "Go away, you spoil my view!!" To me it belongs in the category 'holiday pictures' and not Landscape Photography.
Fortunately technique allows me not to like the photo and to move on to the next. Nobody is forcing me to like it, it is my free choice as is it the free choice of the photographer for this composition.
A composition gaining popularity. So much that I am very curious to know why.
Because "Why???" is the question that remains. "Why on earth do you put someone in front of your lens in the middle of a breath taking view? And why oh why, someone with raised arms?"

Another fast growing trend is sexy half dressed ladies in photos which subjects have nothing to do with artistic nudes. I do not mind an artistic nude, particularly when the photographer understands
the use of light.
Believe me there is a huge difference to this and a half dressed sexy girl distracting your attention of what really matters: the background or original subject. To me it often feels if the only goal is to collect likes with the girl instead of the photographic skills.

I know, I know, I think and act like the Introvert I am. Time to pause from Gurushots when my last challenge ends. Time to explore the Wadden Sea, time to explore solitude.

Love,

Helen

Let's talk about moving house

Moving house......... raise your hand if you never moved house.
Uhm, I do see only a very few hands, you probably still live in the house you were born in. That is precious, so many memories.

There are so many reasons to move house. A larger house, down sizing, escaping to the country or back to the city, a different country, following your partner, changing jobs. You name it.
In my case my father liked to change jobs. He loved jobs he could improve and when it was up and running again with big profits, he got bored. It happened more often than not that he came home telling my mother: "I accepted a new job offer, made an appointment for house viewings so start packing the removal boxes!".
And within a month or two, sometimes sooner, we moved to a different city or village. My brother hated it, I didn't. Ironically, after we all left home, he moved far more times than I did before he and his lovely family settled outside The Netherlands where they feel at home.

I have always been some sort of 'loner'. I mean not part of large groups of friends though come from a cosy family where everybody was welcome to share laughter and serious talks.
With only one brother but many friends, the house was never empty and sometimes I escaped to my secret hiding place in the garden to be on my own for a while.
My introversion was well understood by my parents and never discussed, we were raised to be a personality and not a 'go with the flow' child.

With every move my mother told us: "Where ever you go, you always take yourself with you. If you can make your current home a cosy place to be, you can do that in your next home too".
And how true is this. You are the base of your own life, make sure it is a solid base because circumstances in life can change in seconds.

Right now I am in a stage of my life where I do not have sufficient income to maintain a house.
Although I love my (former farm)house and especially the surroundings (fields, farms, the coast) and although I have lovely neighbours, it is time to move on to a rental house to start a new stage in my life.
I do not want to look back, I do not want to be sad about leaving the house. No, I am looking forward to make my new home as cosy as my present. I am not a materialist but I am indeed looking forward surrounding myself with all the lovely things that I inherited from many generations before me.
Things with a history, things I cherish.
Someone once told me: "I don't like it, I want to live in the future and not in the past".
Fortunately I am in the position to live with the past in the future.
It was Dr. Martin Luther king who said "We are not makers of history. We are made by history".
Another appealing quote comes from Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Al Nahyan "He who does not know his past cannot make the best of his present and future, for it is from the past that we learn".

I am wandering off, so sorry! Back to moving house.
It sounds so easy, you pack your belongings, hire a van, drive to your new house, unload your van and start unpacking. Yes my dear readers, that is all there is to it.
If, or when..... you live with only a very few belongings and I do not.
I need to sort out so much and realize it is time to say goodbye to some of the visible history. I need to learn to understand that things I love need to go to people who will love it too and who maybe pass it on to their relatives or friends so the past will stay present in the future, loved and cherished by others. So that the history of my family goes to other family members. I fully admit that this is not easy for me. Fortunately I was brought up amongst relatives with the same 'problem'.
My first cousin visited me a few weeks ago to collect a 'family cupboard' which stayed with me for a few years and had to move on again. It was a pleasure to meet her husband for the very first time.
He looked around in my house and said: "I can see to which family you belong! You all have the same way of decorating and collecting!"

Speaking of collections (another hot item): books, chamber pots, photo cameras, storage tins, sheep miniatures, embroidery samples.......
Sigh..... or.... help!

Please ask the weather gods for good weather, right now we have heavy rains with lots of strong winds and I need dry weather to park the trailer near the house.
In the meantime I keep filling 'ready for immediate use' and 'ready for the attic' and 'photo props' and 'books' boxes.
With the help of precious friends that is :-)

To be continued.....

Helen

Let's talk about photo cameras

No, don't be afraid nor disappointed, this is not going to be a tutorial for using your camera, neither will it be a technical lecture about photo cameras.
I am a passionate photographer who carries around her camera where ever she goes . I wrote about that before: Let's talk about photography

Today it is more about using different camera's for different occasions and moving on in Mega Pixels.
I still have my very first digital pocket camera, a PENTAX Optio 50L with 5MP which was a miracle at the time. Together with my analogue SRL, it suited me in all situations like quick holiday snapshots.
I loved that you could upload the photo's to your computer and share them in on-line albums (sharing is great!) so relatives and friends all over the world could view them.
For you youngsters it might sound very antique that there was an era without Mega Pixels, DSRL's, web albums or even mobile phones and computers. But believe me there was and we had an equal amount of fun as today.

Anyhow, the first digital pocket camera was a present given to me by my mother and I still cherish it and occasionally I still use it for monochrome photos.
But even I moved on to more MP's and recently received another amazing present; a very dear cousin (thank you so much!!!) made it possible for me to buy a Canon 77D. So, from 5 MP to 24 MP. What a difference!

And in between? A second hand FUJIFILM FinePix S950, 9MP and a great camera! Not a DSRL (still used my analogue) but with great features and an excellent zoom. Unfortunately it developed an annoying and expensive problem with the white balance and had to make way for my first Olympus, the E-400 (also second hand), 10 MP. This was the moment that even my analogue retired (until recently, analogue is hot again! Visit my Polaroid website).

My relationship with Olympus is a very steady one, the E-400 was my loyal companion for a vast amount of years and it is with an aching heart and tears in my eyes that the time is there to sell her.
She was my lecturer in understanding DSRL's, in editing photo's and changing my view on landscapes and objects. We travelled by foot, bicycle, plain, boat, train, car and motor home. Her photos have been uploaded and edited on Windows 98, XP, Vista, 7 and 10.

Dog Bas
Camera: Olympus SP-590UZ
Photo: © Ike Roelfsema

Still I bought a 'brother', a second hand Olympus E-510 - also 10MP, mainly (don't laugh...) for the Live View. And no, it does not have a touchscreen. I particularly like the live view using a tripod. And that is what I do for my Still Life photography (and sunsets).
And slowly but surely, the E-400 made way for the E-510. Though I could not sell her, I kept her and looked after her. At times I even thought her photo's were sharper than those of her 'brother'.

I love Olympus so much that I bought a bridge camera. I never attended to but nearby was an Olympus SP-590UZ for sale for a ridiculous low 'give away' price. It turned out the seller used it only once until it's internal memory was full (!), he did not bother to buy a memory card and it moved to a closet for a while.
I have been playing around with it and was impressed by it's 26x zoom (see the photo of my dog, taken at a distance of 11 metres).
And it is great with Macro too. Well, it may stay.

All Still Live photos are now taken with the E-510 and the E-400 will be put up for sale shortly. Including two lenses, lens hood, memory card, 2 batteries, battery charger and USB cable.
I truly hope she will find a new owner that will respect her for another couple of years.

Besides a Polaroid and analogue collection for own use and for rental purposes, I now have for 'daily' use the Olympus E-510, the 590UZ and my brand new Canon 77D which is an adventure on its own.
I was so much used to my E-510 that I have spent a whole battery on just exploring the 77D.
I watched some interesting video's (check out Jared Polin, Tony & Chelsea Northrup and last but not least Adam Carnacz who is a passionate landscape photographer), I read tutorials, watched photo's and received a lot of interesting advices from my friend Jannie who is also a passionate photographer and who owns a Canon 760D

Guru Pick in Gurushots Challenge "All is Vintage"
Photo: © Ike Roelfsema

I have to admit, I 'miss' my E-510, which means that I have to get used to the 77D but right now our acquaintanceship is running smoothly and I took my very first serious shot yesterday.
And guess what? A Still Life...... Which was successfully rewarded with a Guru Pick in the challenge "All Things Vintage" on Gurushots.

How many different camera's do you use on a regular base? And which one is your favourite?
Love to hear from you, leave your comment below.


Photo hugs,  Ike Helen

Let's talk about ageing....

Whether you are young or whether you are old, each stage in life has it's advantages.
Personally I like getting older. Yes, yes, you might not at all agree, at least not now, maybe at the end of my story.

Your childhood is precious and passes too fast. Impatience is part of the growing up. Particularly when you enter puberty. That stage that you are 13 coming up 30.
Parents talk rubbish, are embarrassing, don't understand you, are old fashioned and above all, extremely meddlesome.
You never sigh so often and so deep as in your teenage life. Neither will you ever roll your eyes as often. After all 'been their, done that', you know it all much better as a modern child of old fashioned parents who - sigh slash eye roll - do not even take the effort to understand you.
Although you consider yourself being an adult, you can't wait to grow up even faster and the proverb 'youth is waisted on the young' isn't meaningful to you.

You rush with big steps into the real life of earning your own money and living in your own apartment or house.
Whilst you overthink this all being that hasty teenager, you completely forget that adult life comes with loads of responsibilities. From doing your own laundry to paying your bills and TAX. From 8 to 5 jobs or being self employed with much longer working hours, to being woken up by impatient children at unearthly hours. And everything in between of which you suddenly realize your parents did it all without you even knowing or caring about it.

Well.... welcome to the world of the grown ups!

My memories of my childhood are care free and full of love, laughter, warm long summers and winters full of ice and snow.
My memories of being a teenager are confusing, upset hormones, heartaches, misunderstandings. Besides love and shelter of course. The proverb  'too large for a serviette and too small for a table cloth' was very appropriate. The one minute I felt confident and the next minute totally unsure.

I could not wait growing up and leaving it all behind me.

I also disliked the institute 'school'. No, I was not stupid and perfectly capable of learning but as I just said, to me it was an institute that locks you up for most of the day. And during my youth, children still went to school on the Saturday mornings as did most people work on the Saturday mornings.
Maybe it has to do with  being an introvert. If I couldn't remember staring out of the windows instead of concentrating on my fellow students and teaching material, the remarks in my reports still tell me.
All I wanted is being somewhere on my own, not surrounded by other people.

I was brought up in a lovely family with one brother but many other young people flocking the house sharing meals and laughter. I liked it at times but also had a small space in the garden where I could hide to enjoy solitude.

It changed when I had a job I truly loved: being a receptionist/telephonist and regularly a hostess on exhibitions. Surrounded by hundreds of people but I loved it. This is where my self-confidence evaluated to normal standards.
And suddenly being the non-official-adopted foster daughter of a Yorkshire couple helped a lot too! Being part of the British way of life made me complete. But this is a different story...

We now arrive in our twenties, a steep learning curve towards our thirties and still it can not go fast enough. You still make mistakes (did I know by then that making mistakes is part of learning and learning is equal to developing and that is what you need to do until your very last breath), you hate making mistakes because you see yourself (finally) as the adult you should be.
Society is demanding, so is making a success of friendships, relationships, your job and last but not least your marriage.

Looking back, these twenties and thirties did not differ much: you have loads of energy to cope with all your plans and mental growth. You learn to cope with the responsibilities you definitely were not aware of in your teens. Loads of energy to make your life successful.

Then come the forties, not for everyone but yes, for me the life changing era.
The end of the marriage, the start of a totally different life with totally different expectations and opportunities. Challenges.
And although the divorce, Cancer and several operations, self employed, part time jobs elsewhere until an 80 hours per week job with travelling within Europe, I still had the necessary amount of energy to live a life like this.

This is also the stage in life you realize that being just you and being at ease with yourself, doing the right things in life and being honest, is the true base of your life. Nothing more and nothing less.
The opinion about me of people who passed by in my life, has never been of much importance to me. I was brought up with the intention to be a nice person and a personality, not the 'go with the flow' and not a 'part of a large group' person. And you will agree that 50 different people have 50 different opinions about you. You can not please them all, that is simply impossible, a waste of energy which can better be spend on those who are close to you with mutual respect.

It is in this stage of life you learn where your priorities are. Or even better: with whom. You have the energy to learn this and paying it attention. You are half way your life (technically spoken) and want it to be good with no worries about things you can not change. You learn to turn the unchangeable nasty things into good things. And slowly you grow towards your fifties......

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography

You might not realise it at first (fifty sounds old though, middle aged....) but this is the stage in life you can be just you. You will notice, whatever you do - being silly or seriously, dancing in the streets or jumping in pools getting soaked, or up to your knees in the mud during a refreshing walk - youngsters smile and think "That is a silly person but who cares, she/he is old anyway". Where the elderly people think "I wished I could still do that. And who cares, she/he is still young! Such a blessing!"
With this in mind, make the very best of this stage in your life! Live it to the full and stay responsible.

I am more than happy to say that this feeling is still appropriate at my current age, I can not speak for beyond early sixties. Though I do have lovely close friends beyond seventy who do not only share this view on life but who still 'dance in the street', who are energetic and active, who enjoy being who they are, being alive and kicking. Still discovering new challenges in life....

Ah.... life! It is still a party but it is yóú who has to put up the decorations!

Cheers!!!

Helen

James, my partner in baking and cooking

James...... we met early 2017.
Hard to believe we are together for almost 2 years now, time flies, dear readers!

James and I match so well! We love experimenting, tasting new things, looking for possibilities to make life easier with saving on money.  And we do great!
As soon as I come up with a new idea, James is ready for it and helps me where ever he can.
We never argue on forehand, afterwards we discuss the failures and how to do it better next time.
Although he is very strict in following up my cooking gestures, he also easily adapts when we have to rethink it. Yes, I love James!!!

The only thing that James does not do, is ice making. No matter how hard we think of how and when, it seems impossible. Fortunately I received a second hand ice maker, problem solved.
Right now James and I are in the phase of baking bread, low budget bread to be precise. And without an oven, that is part of the fun.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema Photography

Unfortunately I do not have the luxury of an AGA, preferable with logs. I admit that sometimes I think I would have enjoyed living 2 centuries earlier.   A Yorkshire Range, spreading his warmth, snoring day and night during the cold winter......... a dream.....



I am not an excellent cook, somehow I miss the fantasy to create a tasty and different, delicious meal.
But I love baking! Only till recently, I baked on gas, in a so called (50 years old) 'wonder pan'. These cakes do much better than in an oven. But gas is expensive these days, electricity is much cheaper but ovens use a lot of wattage. Pinching pennies is another hobby which is giving me joy. I am so amazed in how many ways one can cut back on spendings! One of the reasons James arrived is cutting back on money. The other is that where I can not cook, James can and - last but not last - dinner is ready in time!

Back to bead making.
Last week I read a beautiful, touching and very impressive book: 'The Great Alone' by Kristin Hannah. I shed a few tears and could not stop reading.
In this book she writes about a family in Alaska, baking sour dough bread with the starter always available. I talked to James about it and we decided to give it a try. Tonight is the moment, I will tell you more about it in another blog post.
This recipe got me curious to search for yeast free bread and I ended up with the delicious Irish Soda Bread.

Photo: Helen Varras

James and I were thrilled about it, it is so easy to make! No rising and kneading, just a matter of mixing the dry and wet ingredients and baking. I did the mixing and the light kneading and James did the baking, 2,5 hours on high. From 2 hours on I frequently knocked the bread until it sounded hollow.
I am so pleased to say that James and I were very happy with the result. It is tasty, particularly still warm with butter.

You can't keep it for too long unless you allow it to cool down to store it in the freezer.

But it tastes great the next day when you toast it. Want to give it a try? Here is the recipe.
If you prefer to bake it in an oven: preheated 180 C (365F), 30-40 minutes.

Right now we are working on another try out: Kajmak, a delicious creamy cheese from the Balkan. More about this in another blog post.

Ooohhh....... I forgot to tell you that my magnificent, lovely, loyal James is my Slow Cooker......

Love,

Helen

Let's talk about photography

Camera's come in al sorts and sizes, brands and prices.


Who of my readers never held a camera (including a mobile phone)?
You do not need to be a professional photographer these day to take beautiful pictures. The quality often amazes me viewing the photo's on Instagram.
Not seldom I am pleasantly surprised to read in a user's Bio '15 year old amateur photographer'.
I know, there are so many apps and programs to improve a photo but still you need 'the eye' to see the beauty of sometimes a very simple situation, landscape, animal.... what ever.

Give someone who always forget to include a head in a photo the most advanced and expensive camera, and still the head is not visible.
Give someone who recognizes the beauty of a paper clip on a black background lit by the sun a simple camera and he or she comes up with a beautiful artistic photo.

Not everyone needs to be a professional photographer who needs to live from his/her skills.
The joy of photography is also very important and adds much to the the story in the photo.
It shows not only the love for photography but also what people think is important in life, or beautiful. Photo's tell so much about the person behind the camera. I find that intriguing and sometimes also amusing; humour is a lovely emotion to express in photo's.

Instagram offers you a journey around the world for free. You travel through almost every country, watching it's people, heritage, food, history..... you name it. Some allow you to sit at their table and to meet their family members. Or even become friends.
One beautiful aspect of Instagram is the support of users for photo's of others. Always happy to provide positive feedback. And yes, friends for life are found on Instagram.

Photography has always been one of my passions (the other one is writing). Ever since I can hold a camera, I take photo's. And as with most camera addicts, I definitely prefer to be behind the camera and never in front.
It was not until 1982 that I learned how to use a SRL and I was over the moon when I inherited one in 2000. Although it is replaced by a Digital RSL, I still have the old one. In fact, I still have all my camera's! Somehow I can not part from them.

The very best thing about a digital camera is that you can take endless photo's, experimenting as much as you want. Editing is a joy (even though I am not the type of person that edits beyond natural). And posting on Instagram is a true joy as well.
I am learning so much from other people's skills and enthusiasm. An 'Instameet' (photo shoot somewhere with other Instagrammers) is great. And more to come.
Joined to the hip with your camera is like having a good friend around with who you share the beautiful things in life. A friend who challenges you to wider your horizon and to expand your

Design: Ike Roelfsema ©

boundaries.

I love the Wadden Sea and have taken and will take numerous photo's of the ever changing scenes and colours.
I am exploring Monochrome (black and white) photography, Still Life and last but not least Vanitas (see my special Insta account for this).
The latter I find extremely interesting and challenging. I learn from the old paintings when it comes to light, colours and shadows.

To be able to share my photo's and and photographic happiness with other's, I created a small website which I would like to introduce to you: Ike Roelfsema Photography
I hope you will find the time to take a look. All feedback is very, very welcome!



Hug from this camera addict!