Let's talk about Toothpaste

 Maybe not a subject that springs to mind pondering about life but...

Being a woman I always squeeze my toothpaste down the tube from top to bottom. It is a man's 'privilege' to squeeze in the middle, isn't it.
And I keep squeezing until the last little bit, I am thrifty. I prefer to have at least one tube in stock but sometimes forget to buy it. So, what happens next is that the amount of paste comes to a point of which I think I am going to run out of it. And I do not live close to a shop.

But here is the amazing thing that when I think I am going to be short of paste, the tube seems to be endless and I always survive until the my next shopping weekend. Not that I count on this every time though. I like to be prepared, I prefer a fresh breath.

Prepared.... I learned throughout my life that being prepared for tomorrow, next week, next month is impossible. Today can be totally different from yesterday or tomorrow. Living life by the day is much more my way (with my little home as my resting point). A 'skill' taught by my parents who regularly moved house because my father found an other job when the current one bored him, he needed challenges.
His career ended at the age of 43 when he got ill but in a way surviving was also a challenge to him.
My mother, a woman with a heart big enough for everyone who needed her unconditional love, managed to create a warm and welcoming home in every house we lived in. One of her favourite quotes was: 'Remember you always take yourself with you. If you can create a cosy home in one house, you can also create it in another house'. And she was so right.

Taking yourself with you everywhere you go needs stability in a sense of being comfortable with yourself by knowing you are the base of your life. Your base needs to be solid, you need to be able to trust yourself and move on from there. Take your base to where ever you go.
Of course life is throwing good and bad at you, I simply do not believe there are people who sail through life without high waters, storms or a good thunder now and then.
Just happiness does not exist. And in my humble opinion... how do you recognize simple happiness if you don't know grief? How do you appreciate a beautiful valley if you don't know the hills?
Or a smooth sea without the high waves?

To be honest, a predictable life would bore me to death. When I look back I can not remember one boring day in my life. Lazy days, yes. But even then I adored this laziness. Absorbed it, drank it in, squeezed every lazy minute out of it. And I still do, I still squeeze every little bit out of my lazy days.

Sometimes my head is full, my brains overloaded. Not just a matter of age, I have had this all my life. When this happens I know it is time to switch off, to withdraw to my little Mental Isle.

Because I work from home, my isle is only available in the weekends but if it is there, I make the most of it by switching off my phone and the internet.
My Mental Isles are a mix of doing completely nothing and enjoying the stillness, or walking the dogs, or reading, photography, watching a film.... just being me. Please do not say I am selfish which I am not. No, in this way I maintain my base. Each base needs maintenance to bear the structure. My structure is always in good use, busy at times. And because life is not predictable, the base needs to be ready for tomorrow.

Would I be an easy person to live with? Probably not, I need my freedom.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

I am not a moody person, nor angry. Often called 'down to earth but with a good sense of humour' is more who I am. When things go wrong in life, I adapt to the challenge to use the changes to find other paths to my future. These paths always have side paths and sometimes you have to walk and walk to find new destinations but they are there! Never give up!

Be like a toothpaste tube. When you face the moment of running out, keep squeezing, you will be surprised how much there is still left. In the meantime 'buy' a new tube, buy a different taste. Be ready for a fresh breath tomorrow, next week, next month. Life is still full of surprises.

My 'tube' is running out for 2020 and I am looking forward to my holiday in my own home. Squeezing the last bits, buying a new taste for 2021. I am ready for new challenges.

Wishing you all a comfortable Christmas, squeeze the COVID restrictions, don't leave left overs in your old tube. I am looking forward to see you next year.

Lots of love,

Helen XXX

Let's talk about People and their Blocking Behaviour

Living in a village loved by tourists, I can not avoid noticing various behaviours.
Let me state first that most of the people who visit us on purpose are those who love the quiet tiny village, the Wadden Sea with it's beautiful views and endless horizons, and the empty Friesian landscape.

Though during this Corona time, we also see people who would not even think about visiting this area in normal times. But now they are asked to stay at home or close to home, they all of a sudden feel the irresistible need to push boundaries and flock the otherwise unattractive quiet outdoors.
Preferable with on line ordered Pick-nick baskets filled by on-line ordered food. Unfortunately a very tiny majority forgot to buy poop sachet on line and left their overdose of WC paper at home, thinking that what once was food, now digested and disposed the natural way, can be left in corners of private gardens and or behind gates hidden under a pile of tissues.
I emphasize, it is only a single soul as the majority is well raised.

Now we see more and more people climbing the dikes for fresh air en stunning views, I can not always keep my usual 5 metres distance and need to stick to the government rules of 1.5 metres.
This is an impossible task when people take the stairs and half way stop to look around. In the best possible case they walk to the top and stay there, completely unaware of their kinsmen following them or those who want to go down. And to no surprise this is causing a blockade both ways.
The dikes are wide and still walkable for those who are fit and moveable. But if one is of a certain old age and less supple, going down a dike is quite a challenge (not talking about myself here :-)).

It often astonishes me that someone can stand in the middle of a passage way, surrounded by other people without even noticing them. Without catching signals of other human beings. Acting like they are all on their own in a large empty world.
Not only something you see with tourists but also with people in shops. Leaving their shopping trolleys in the middle of a gang way, walking back and forth gathering the stuff they need.
Or even worse, meeting someone they know and starting a conversation no one seem to be able to interrupt to pass by.
And if they are finally aware of others (caused by a loud 'Ahum' or a firm push where a gentle touch was of no help) they glare with a spread all over the face look of "Excuse me! I was here first!!"

Being an introvert does not help to wade through a crowd, one reason why I find shopping an almost impossible task. I enter the shop as Mr. Jekyll and leave it as Mr. Hyde. Bless my little country shop which still has quiet moments.
And watching the 'blocking behaviour' makes me scratch the back of my head. Because I do not want to annoy myself, I try to observe it with a somewhat cynical sense of humour.
Like yesterday. I could not pass on top of the dike stairs, it was literally blocked by people who felt a great need to lean on the gate that keeps the sheep separated from the humans (although the difference is not always visible), to enjoy the surroundings. Because there were also people who pushed to reach the top of the stairs, the Dutch 1.5 metres Social Distance was laughable.
I watched and indeed laughed. I told myself there was no need to understand this cattle behaviour so did not even give it a try.

I walked round them in a large circle, feeling blessed with so much space that for some odd reason, no one else had noticed.

At the bottom of the dike I walked towards the space between two fences to dispose the poo bags of my dogs in the dustbin but got blocked by a very tall and broad shouldered cyclist, appropriate dressed to cycle the Tour the France and most likely preferably being in France then in Friesland if the Tour wouldn't have been cancelled.
He stood there like a lost Viking in Cycling gear, legs wide, his massive arms upwards, hands pushed in his waist. He was so fortunate to look over the crowd on floor level and that is what he did. He looked and looked.

Instead of asking him politely to unblock the passage, I watched him from a COVID-19 safe distance wondering when he was going to glance down to notice this 167 cm high lady with the two dogs.
It took a while but all of a sudden he returned to the real world, sounds reached his ears again, his brains caught human signals, his nose maybe the scent of living people.
I smiled, he almost jumped in the air at his impossible napped cycling shoes, said: "Oooh, I am so sorry!" and stepped aside, forgetting that his large body still remained within the 1.5 metres. Then a big smile as if the coin finally landed. And off he went, following the crowd at the stairs.

Photo: Ike Roelfsema

You might agree to the fact that the COVID-19 rules spit out a strange mix of interesting people.
Who are all welcome in our village but who we most likely never see again in 'normal' times, shifted by dislikes for empty horizons, dull blue skies, white clouds which could predict rain, the ever blowing wind and the boring green dikes.

And I am not gong to convince them otherwise!!


Love, Helen xxx